25 August was a special day. I did a training which was not a management training, but a communication training. Me, who was afraid to communicate with people until a while ago, is now doing communication training! Training can be something you have done or experienced yourself. From the feedback I got, I could see that this approach to communication really resonated with people.
More than 100 people followed the theme throughout the day, with several sending feedback and thanking me afterwards. It’s a wonderful feeling to see that you have contributed to the growth of a person’s inner courage to be themselves. More important than recognition (=appreciation) is the feeling inside that you have contributed.
Communication problems arise between people when they are not in touch with themselves. If he hasn’t consciously looked at what has shaped him, doesn’t let the ego’s defences control his life, realises that his thoughts and feelings are not his, his past fears/beliefs don’t have to shape his present, his future. If you have understood (at least at that time in your life) the true purpose of your life, you will not be upset by a conflicting partner or a possible non-response to an issue. You’re still doing what you love.
One very important idea that resonated during the training: “No one can compete with you and make you feel bad about yourself if you are YOU.”
Out of interest, I googled “competition” and looked at the images that came up. The lion’s share of the pictures depicted fighting men. Men tearing something or climbing somewhere. Mostly in suits. This will be the subject of future posts on how our inner femininity and inner masculinity (regardless of biological sex) are doing, but the theme of competition in today’s masculine world order model has led to a situation where we constantly perceive competition in everyday relationships between people and fight for psychological satisfaction at the expense of the psychological well-being of others (tailgating in traffic, social media, etc.). like waiting).
I believe that nature has been wise enough to distribute the strengths among us in a way that creates balance. And when each person gets closer to who they really are, and starts to live that way, then the strengths needed to function together are distributed in just the right balance, so that we don’t have to “push other people down” to feel that we are better at something that is not our gift.
But don’t we often try to imitate someone else or prove something to someone else? Mimic something that is not really our path. To mimic or feel bad that you don’t have that body you saw on Instagram or in a magazine, her financial success, her trips to far-off places with all that idyll out there, a beautiful country house, the perfect partner, fierce dogs or diligent kids.
If we are chasing this, it is natural that we perceive competition. In competition, we feel that someone else is better than us. He is doing better. It’s better and getting better! But not because you’re inferior. You are you and he is him. There is no better, and no worse. Focusing on our weaknesses and the things/qualities I don’t have, we are weak for life, we feel competition, we get angry and start to put others down, criticize, gossip. It’s all about feeling better (outperforming the competition). Having lived most of my life in this energy, I now know how good it is to live the other way around – focusing on strengths. When we focus on strengths, we are strong in ourselves, in our own inner strength and power, without competition.
No one can compete with you if you are yourself. That doesn’t mean you’re better or worse than them. You are you, and it is your nature to be you, not someone else.
If an oak blossom falls into a pumpkin bush, it will not grow into a pumpkin, it will still grow into an oak tree. As humans, we often think that we have to be the pumpkin because others are pumpkins. Communication problems arise when we try to be someone else and someone else tries to be someone else. Because inside we understand that we have a communication problem with ourselves. It’s just so handy to project it outside.
I built the 7-hour communication training on the foundation of how to increase contact with yourself before you make contact with others. If it has brought someone even a centimetre closer to themselves, value has already been created. It took me 38 years to figure it out, and I’m still learning, and I still get back into the world of competition from time to time, and I’m still trying to prove something by interacting.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just live more alive yourself and see life change around you.
