Have you ever noticed that some leaders don’t lead/inspire, but as if to prove that they deserve to exist.
Not consciously, but subconsciously. Such behaviours are often more visible from the outside, but of course it is only useful if we can see that part of ourselves. I have this pattern in me, I believe there is a little bit of it in everyone who posts on social media 😉
Such patterns only come from deep within, often from childhood. To a certain extent it is always necessary, but sometimes it goes beyond what is reasonable and starts to hurt the driver and others. A leader with this need to prove his or her worth never really rests, tends to burn out, struggles with various addictions (food, drink, work, sex, exercise, video games, etc.) and …
– tends not to trust others because “if I don’t do it myself, then…”
– is more afraid of being wrong than showing it
– feels emptiness even when the results are great. Something is still missing.
The need for proof is one of the subtle internal patterns that drive leaders, and on the surface it’s a nice thing. Especially for the owner. It looks like ambition. It sounds like self-confidence. It sounds like someone to be promoted to lead by example to others. But inside, such over the top proving is often fear:
– to be invisible
– to be replaceable
– to not be enough.
And if fear is in control, it is the subconscious, not the person. Perhaps the leader is not leading himself and the different parts of himself. True leadership begins at the moment when we take the responsibility, on a conscious level, to lead first ourselves and then others. It starts the moment we stop proving anything to ourselves.
