The thought that maybe it will really work out is perhaps the scariest thought of all. Not that I will fail. Just that I will succeed. That people will see. That I won’t be able to hide and complain like a victim anymore. Success is terrifying because then I have to carry the burden of visibility, influence and responsibility where my words and actions matter.
It is better to be invisible and small. As we have unconsciously learned from our ancestors – if you have a rich farm, your family will be deported and your property will be appropriated. Being successful is prominent and dangerous. And so we carry this same story from business to business, from organisation to organisation, from government to government. The same slave story.
Fear of success is not an uncommon oddity. Increasingly, it seems to me that this fear is one of the biggest obstacles in our way. Especially in Estonia.
It is as if it is written into the Estonian character to be small, pale, sad, modest, scared and just survive. To be the one who needs to be helped or who is being hurt. Not the one who shines, shines, influences, leads and creates. When one of these emerges among us, they are publicly executed. Because fear sells more than success.
The fear of being great in spirit, or successful, is our national shadow and a collective problem. And so we live at survival level. A level where fear is the main driver. Fear, however, is tense, constricting and cramping. To alleviate it, addictions – work, food, alcohol, etc. – help. The result is a burn-out epidemic and cardiovascular disease.
The consequences are not only personal troubles and inactions, but also societal fatigue, loss of vitality, loss of values and human virtues. A crisis of leadership. At every level – from leadership of oneself to leadership of organisations. If we look at management decisions, most of them are driven by fear and defensiveness, not by creativity and the will to create new value. And this is the world we get.
“The world belongs to the brave” does not mean that courage automatically leads to success. It means that only those who are willing to step out of their fears can experience life to the full. Courage is not heroism, but a willingness to face the deeper truth of oneself, even when it is uncomfortable, disturbing or completely new to others. Courage is not found in those who fear nothing, but in those who do in spite of fear.
The world, or the abundance of life, belongs to those who don’t let their inner critic, the trauma of the past, the collective shadow, the “what others think” narrative in their heads, rule their lives. The world belongs to those who believe that life is not only about survival, but also about creation.
It’s something I’ve started to think about recently as several people have said I’m so brave. When I ask what that means, I get the answer that I am brave enough to talk about the spiritual and esoteric as well as the rational.
But how else – separating them is the root of the problem.
