Time and time again I hear questions or comments from clients that life is unfair. Especially lately, when life is a bit more turbulent for many and there is more uncertainty. Have you ever asked yourself that question?
However, when we see challenges as an attack or as adversity, we fall into the role of victim. We complain, we are wounded, we diminish ourselves and we diminish our own importance. Victimhood consumes more energy than new energy, and we don’t rest when we are on holiday or at night.
For me, years ago, it was a very important change of mindset to things don’t happen to ME, but for ME. A lot of situations in my life became much smoother and I didn’t drown in a pit of misery. A change of mindset or belief makes life go much smoother.
For example
- setback can teach flexibility and perseverance
- conflict can show where the boundaries are missing, or clarity on where my problem with setting and respecting boundaries lies.
- if it fails, we learn which choice was not the right one at the time. You can make new choices, either by changing your situation or your attitude.
Asking yourself: “What does this experience teach me?”, you take back control of your life to yourself, rather than leaving it to what is happening outside.
Here are some practical questions to change your mindset:
- What’s the lesson I’m not seeing now?
- How can this situation make me better?
- What can I do differently in the future as a result of this experience?
- What should I give up to get things the way I want? Am I ready to give it up?
Life is not against me, life is for me. Otherwise there would be no life. Nature is wise enough not to keep something alive that is not needed 🙂 If you live, life means you are supported and you have a very important value in the world. Things that happen to you help you get closer to it. That’s why it’s nice to think that things happen for me, not to me.
This in turn starts with a change in the belief that it IS possible to change the way I think and that I do NOT have to go along with all the thoughts and stories that my mind automatically feeds me.
