We often think that group processes start when someone new joins or someone leaves. In fact, they also start again when a team member changes – for example, through a personal crisis, a deeper growth in self-development or a life event that changes who they are. However, contrary to what was taught decades ago, personality and character are not permanent phenomena.
This means that a team may stay the same for years, but in reality it is no longer the same team, even though we often behave and expect the same from the other team, as if it “has been all along”.
A very simple example is teams where everyone is young and single and they spend a lot of time together, but then one gets into a relationship and has a baby. Then the dynamics of the team change a lot. This has to be handled consciously, because in the end you are still a group of people working together for common results, where suddenly the friendship that you had before becomes really just colleagues.
When one person starts to see the world in a new way, the whole group has to retune. Failure to do so creates latent divisions, erodes trust, creates misunderstood tensions that waste energy unnecessarily.
Restarting the adjustment process may be necessary if, for example:
– … a child or grandchild is born into the family of a team member (may change priorities in life, values)
– … a colleague goes through a divorce
(may lead to, for example, loss of time flexibility, change in self-esteem for better or worse, change in stress tolerance, etc.)
– … a colleague loses a loved one or a pet
(values, beliefs, priorities may change)
– … a colleague suffers a serious accident or becomes seriously ill
(the meaning of life/death often changes, the meaning given to work changes)
– … undergoes a deeper self-development and is no longer “the same person”
(values different things again)
The idea is not that we have to suddenly become human therapists now. Not at all, a colleague is still a colleague, but a person’s values and outlook on life can change significantly. And the values of the company hung on the walls or on the website are relatively secondary at that point.
In teamwork, you need to get to know your team members from time to time. And what better time to do that than when you’re coming back from holiday and reflecting on life.
