In my 1-1 meetings, I often see start-up managers who want to avoid burnout and learn to trust their team members more. Of course, it always makes me happy to see these issues early on in the journey.
Quite often, however, our conversations go beyond these things. For example, the differences in the mindset of a professional and a manager (a very practical and deep topic, I will write more about it in the next ndl).
And we go even further – to the systems that influence people’s will to lead. Often, of course, these paths lead back to the family of origin.
Leadership doesn’t start in Excel or in the boardroom, but deep within ourselves, in our inner will/will/wish/need/fears etc. At the beginning of our own leadership journey, it is particularly useful to discover ourselves.
Here are 8 key questions for anyone dreaming of or already in a management job. I’ve identified these as “essential” based on the examples of hundreds of mentor clients and 60 managers I’ve managed:
1️⃣ When I lead, do I do it out of my inner calling, or to what extent am I fulfilling someone else’s (father, mother, teacher, boss, inner Kubjas, etc.) expectation?
2️⃣ What messages, lessons, conclusions did I learn as a child about being in authority (father, teacher, principal, coach, etc.) and how do they subconsciously influence me today?
3️⃣ When I check, does it come from fear of losing my position, fear of making a mistake, fear of the responsibility to keep the system running, or what makes it difficult to trust?
4️⃣ Am I able to listen and take the other person as they are, or am I trying to make them feel more comfortable, or what is my interest in the nature of the person?
5️⃣ If my role were to disappear tomorrow, would I know who I am as a person or would my identity be linked to position and title (hint: when you introduce yourself to a new company through role and position, the question is especially important!)
6️⃣ When was the last time I felt that being a leader brings ease and life rather than pressure and responsibility?
7️⃣ How big a part of me is driven by trust and how big a part by subconscious fear of losing something?
8️⃣ Whose opinion and impression matters to me? What am I not doing or doing because of it?
These are not easy questions. They are “diggers” that bring to light the hidden systems that guide you as a leader – whether they be from family, work or society. And then, by becoming aware of them, you can make conscious choices – really choose your inner leader within yourself.
Leadership requires that before you lead others, you must understand what drives you. I believe we would live in a better world if leaders adhered to this premise.
