This is a phrase I overheard an orthopaedic surgeon, whose name I can’t remember, jokingly saying. And I was left thinking that the same thing applies in organisations.
Leadership, and getting on in working life in general, is not just about structure, about what keeps us going. It also requires a backbone, an inner support that allows you to stand up straight even when it is uncomfortable.
In organisations, I sometimes see a spine (job descriptions, processes, meeting routines) but a lack or weakness of backbone (courage to say, do and decide, weak boundary setting and respect).
If every “please do” is met with a “yes, of course”, sooner or later your back will start to go crooked.
Some examples of the lack of backbone:
1️⃣ Decisions that only happen when “everyone agrees”
Sounds caring, but it’s a fear of responsibility. The result is watered down decisions that no one is happy with, but at the same time no one is held accountable. We decided together. Perhaps ‘hogging’ as a polite and unfortunately accepted form of non-responsibility in the corporate vocabulary.
2️⃣ Problems are discussed “off the record”
There are sharp observations and solutions in the kitchen corner, but the meeting is silent. “Ah, there’s no point, nothing will change.” Leadership is like theatre – beautiful and correct on stage, a different world behind the curtain.
3️⃣ Instead of saying “no”, everything is taken
The weakness of setting boundaries kills both people and organisations. When you don’t have the backbone, it seems easier to do more yourself than face an uncomfortable conversation. The result is overwhelmed managers and employees who burn out while the system remains unchanged. This includes managers who are stuck in the mindset of a specialist for years after they started managing.
Selgroog means we make decisions even when they are not popular. It means speaking out even when there is a risk of not liking it. That we say ‘no’ when it is necessary. That we acknowledge both successes and failures with the same straight back. Self-righteousness is fortunately a skill that can be learned.
In the new business season, may we have not just a spine, but a backbone!
