Most leadership debates revolve around the same themes: motivation, accountability, performance, commitment, change management, relationships, effectiveness, strategy – in other words, leading the lives of others. Time shows that simply talking about them soon means repeating it all again – the same training, different trainers; the same inconclusive results, new strategies to meet targets.
But maybe we’re not asking the right questions and not getting deep insider experiences? Instead of asking what is the next goal and where lies the solution and how to get there, perhaps we need to go to what is holding us back?
Of course, the questions below are not comfortable in my client meetings, but they make a real difference (๐ซ๐ถ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ถ๐ช ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ท ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ต๐ข – ๐ฌ๐ถ๐ด๐ซ๐ถ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ช ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ รผ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด๐ฆ๐จ๐ช ๐ฏ๐ช๐ช ๐ช๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฎรต๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ต๐ข๐ท, ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ซ๐ถ๐ต๐ถ ๐ต๐ข๐จ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐จ๐ช ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ต๐ข ๐ฌ๐ข ๐ฑรค๐ณ๐ช๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ท ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ต๐ข).
Here are just a few recent questions that have driven customers forward:
๐ธ My people are not committed.
โ What are they secretly committed to?
๐ธ The team does not cooperate!
โ Who or what do they long for?
๐ธ Things somehow fail all the time.
โ What part of you is loyal to failure?
๐ธ In the team, the same tensions are repeated again and again!
โ How do they reflect your personal childhood environment?
๐ธ There is no way I can move forward professionally!
โ Whose permission do you need to move forward? Whose face will you see first?
๐ธ It’s as if all the responsibility is on my shoulders and nobody takes responsibility!
โ How old do you feel when you say that?
๐ธ I’ve tried everything, nothing works!
โ What would you miss if a solution were to be found?
๐ธ Why can’t I decide?
โ Whose will lives in you if it is not your own?
๐ธ Why don’t people take responsibility?
โ When did you decide you wanted to help others?
๐ธ Why is there no initiative in the organisation?
โ What are you afraid of when others take the lead?
๐ธ My driver raised his voice at me and that’s not okay with me!
โ What was your relationship like with your father, how was he involved in your growing up?
๐ธ My company is operating inefficiently.
โ What problem did you initially set out to solve for yourself by starting a business?
These are not easy issues. But they get to the heart of the matter and lead to real solutions.
If any of them stirred something inside you (including discomfort or misunderstanding) and you’re stuck somewhere as a leader – maybe it’s time to make space for what wants to be seen? Maybe something wants to become visible that you can’t come up with on your own?
