If I can’t manage myself, it’s a real pain to manage others

I came across such an image and it reminded me that this is exactly the kind of leadership I talk about in my trainings – we can’t lead others successfully if we can’t lead ourselves as leaders and what is going on in our inner world. If our focus is only on the external, on the future results, the journey is an energy-consuming one.

In this picture, it is about mind control, which is often interpreted as thought control. Thought can be managed and controlled, but unfortunately it is not always successful. The mind is both thoughts and feelings, which are only the surface of the iceberg. There is much more under the water that needs to be managed first.

Underneath the thoughts and feelings are the emotions, underneath these are the values, and from there are the beliefs, which are mostly unconscious beliefs – the invisible inner rulers of our own lives that we think we rule.

To change minds, you need to change feelings. To change feelings, you need to unleash stuck emotions (generally signalled by the body through pain or “sickness”). In order to release emotions, it is often necessary to address values and beliefs first.

If I can’t manage myself, managing others is a real pain. I can read dozens of leadership books, go through many leadership training courses, but if I don’t succeed in leading my own deeper layers, they are of no use and remain mere “motivation days”, the effect of which fades after a few weeks.

Leadership starts with self-management. But you can manage something that is visible. To make it visible, you need to light a fire. To do this, you sometimes need a guide to help you light the fire. And this is one of the reasons why, alongside leadership training, I also work as a therapist and mentor.

With this same fire, you can later move towards your goals with passion and determination. And life shows that much more easily and smoothly, with less work. On its own, without a guide.

Your biggest enemy is your uncontrolled mind.