Over the past few days, a discussion has arisen with several of us about whether the past should be mourned at all. Of course, we shouldn’t get stuck in it and dig there endlessly looking for excuses, reasons and explanations for not living our lives, but ….
… sometimes something keeps us in the past, because it is completely behind us. Facts are one thing, but emotions and thoughts are another.
The facts cannot be changed, allegedly. Although history does show that facts of the past can be interpreted quite differently depending on one’s point of view or need, and facts of the past are also dependent on the viewer’s eyes, on what those facts were and on his or her background system (or past).
Perhaps you could say that you can also change the facts, because when you hear a different point of view, what was previously considered a fact, or rather the meaning given to it, changes. In the case of conflicts, it is precisely this that is the key to the solution, that people start to see past conflicts from other angles, get new facts and can therefore move on. The fact that there was a conflict doesn’t change, but the impact of the conflict on today changes, there is a pacification. No more energy is actually spent on the past.
Of course, you can change your thoughts and emotions about what happened in the past, the consequences. It is precisely because of the above that thoughts change. Emotions change, or rather dissolve, when they are experienced, and through this they reach their unmet needs. Allowing oneself to experience the emotions that were not experienced at the time, but are still stored in the body, preventing one from moving on with life.
A very good example is depression, which takes all the will to act, but underneath is often unintentional emotion (often anger). Even the word depression is from the Latin word for “to oppress”.
You could say, go on with your life, you’re sitting in your depression, look at life positively, everything is fine, etc. Those who have experienced it know that it doesn’t work until the repressed emotions have been set in motion.
Burnout is another good example – very many people experience it again and again because they didn’t want to address the root problem (why dwell on the past), took a few months off, made changes to their agenda and priorities, but after a while they are back to the same issues.
Unless we solve the root problem, the future will not change. A tree cannot flourish and grow if there is a mess at the root level. But the root is what came first (in the past). If things are fine there, it is more likely to be able to cope with strong winds and storms. If it’s not okay, the present and future for that tree won’t hold up. The problem with the roots must be solved first.
Or for those who have experienced root canal treatment – we can change the crown/plug, change eating habits and teeth cleaning, but if the problem is at the root level, only root canal treatment will help. The pain won’t go away before then. Even with tablets, which may make things better for a short while, let the present be and maybe the future (e.g. sleep the next night). But the next moment the discomfort is back.
