{"id":8827,"date":"2026-09-10T09:59:06","date_gmt":"2026-09-10T07:59:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/uncategorized\/but-what-if-i-dont-want-to-take-it-easy\/"},"modified":"2026-09-11T10:03:57","modified_gmt":"2026-09-11T08:03:57","slug":"but-what-if-i-dont-want-to-take-it-easy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/eneseareng-en\/but-what-if-i-dont-want-to-take-it-easy\/","title":{"rendered":"But what if I don&#8217;t want to take it easy?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s easy to say, &#8220;Slow down,&#8221; but why is it actually so hard to do that and follow the advice? Could it be that we don&#8217;t really want to take it easier? <br\/><br\/>I often see this in one-on-one counseling sessions: clients come in wanting to plan their time and priorities better, learn to make time for themselves, organize their work in a way that leaves more time for themselves\u2014they\u2019re on the verge of burnout, their health is giving them warning signs, and so on. After some conversation, however, it becomes clear that this desire has come from someone else, and deep down, the person knows that they don\u2019t actually want to do it. To identify this desire or lack thereof, it\u2019s very helpful to replace the words \u201cgetting\u201d or \u201cknowing\u201d in commonly used phrases with the word \u201cwanting.\u201d  <br\/><br\/>In other words, if I replace \u201cI can\u2019t not go to meetings\u201d with \u201cI don\u2019t want to not go to meetings,\u201d it becomes clear that I have the freedom to choose what I want, to act accordingly, and to accept the consequences. A balance between freedom and responsibility begins to take shape. Sometimes, for the first time in a person\u2019s life, the feeling arises that they actually do have freedom.  <br\/><br\/>The question, then, is what is so valuable that the cost of giving it up would be too high. So my intention is that I don\u2019t want to pay that cost, and right now, it\u2019s all worth it. Because then I have the choice of whether or not to pay that price. In any case, I decide for myself what I want and what makes more sense for me at this point in time. A simple example: if I still want to attend that meeting, because it will help me get noticed in pursuit of my future career goals, then I want to be there, and right now I don\u2019t want to do other work tasks\u2014I want to do them outside of work hours. By participating in that meeting, I want to invest more time in my future, for example.     <br\/><br\/>Both options are fine and perfectly acceptable\u2014whether you decide to slow down or keep going full steam ahead. What\u2019s important is that a person acts according to their OWN WILL and understands the cost of both paths. Everything always comes at a cost, and the question is whether you\u2019re willing\u2014or have the will\u2014to pay one cost or the other. If I want my career to be more important right now, then the cost is less time with my loved ones. If I want more time with my loved ones, then the rapid and powerful advancement of my career is the price I have to pay.    <br\/><br\/>We often want something we don\u2019t currently have. The idea that we can obtain something we don\u2019t have without giving up anything in return is an illusion, and distinguishing between illusion and reality is a crucial milestone in our inner maturation. <br\/><br\/>So, is it that you can&#8217;t, or that you don&#8217;t want to take it easier?<br\/>The impact of such a small change in wording can be surprisingly significant.<br\/><br\/>The picture shows a chair where it\u2019s often interesting to observe clients\u2019 processes of coming to terms with reality and weighing what price they\u2019re willing to pay\u2014what\u2019s already gone but what we hold on to, and what\u2019s there but what we don\u2019t want to see yet. And life shows that when we weigh these questions on our own, we gradually start to deceive ourselves \ud83d\ude42 But maybe that\u2019s exactly what we want? <\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"576\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581-576x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"Pictured: One-on-one counseling room\" class=\"wp-image-8824\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581-576x1024.jpeg 576w, https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581-169x300.jpeg 169w, https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581-768x1365.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581-600x1067.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1789041677581.jpeg 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 576px) 100vw, 576px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s easy to say, &#8220;Slow down,&#8221; but why is it actually so hard to do that and follow the advice? Could it be that we don&#8217;t really want to take it easier? I often see this in one-on-one counseling sessions: clients come in wanting to plan their time and priorities better, learn to make time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-eneseareng-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8827"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8830,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8827\/revisions\/8830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivarraav.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}